I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
