just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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