3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
