just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
