My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Life is so much better after having sex.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
