I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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