Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
