i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
