Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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