every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
