ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
