Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Randomize
