I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
