im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
