I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
When did angry sex become our thing?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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