I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
