omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
