She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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