Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize