You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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