New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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