he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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