My brain says no but my pants say off.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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