I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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