Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i drank out of a bidet.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
