we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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