A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
