I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
