so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
