You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
