It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
