I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
