Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
