Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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