Me. At least after what I've been through.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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