Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nicole vs. Life
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
