and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize