i need an iv and a liver transplant
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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