my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize