I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
