sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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