I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
