I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
