Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
