Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
