About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
