if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
