just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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