Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
