Buhtt sex?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize