Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
