let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
