He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
well you can't waste a boner
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
