I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i just google imaged poop.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
