You work out of a Hotel?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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