We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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