Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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