I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
