Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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