I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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