Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
