It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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