i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
