There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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