I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
