Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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